101 Get-a-'bout alley...

Matt Groening turns 61

"When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."
~Matt Groening, From "Basic Sex Facts For Today's Youngfolk" In Life In Hell

LA Zoo recruits Feng Shui expert

"Give unto the chinese monkey, what is the chinese monkey's..."

Los Angeles Zoo has hired the services of a Feng Shui expert to help three golden monkeys loaned by China feel at home in their future surroundings. Read about it Here.

I know I'm late to the game...

But I discovered this, (a reason to stock up on 2 kinds of Schnapps)...

Flaming Moe Recipe

Ingredients:

1.0 oz Blackberry Liqueur

1.0 oz Brandy

1.0 oz Peppermint Schnapps

1.0 oz Pineapple Juice

1.0 oz Sloe gin

Directions: It's just like a Flaming Homer but you blend alcohol pineapple juce and banana in blender until banana is well blended and smooth then pour into glass

...and add 1 oz. of cough syurp, light then put out flame.

Moe: "He may have come up with the recipe, but I came up with the idea of charging $6.95 for it."

a touch of melancholy, a little joke...

So the great affair is over
but whoever would have guessed
it would leave us all so vacant
and so deeply unimpressed
It's like our visit to the moon
or to that other star
I guess you go for nothing
if you really want to go that far    
~Leonard Cohen "Death of a Ladies' Man" (1977)

"There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them."    
~Sylvia Plath (died, 2-11-'63)

Gypsy Rose fell from Heaven on this day...

It’s the birthday of Gypsy Rose Lee; the bawdy and the divine. She was born Rose Louise Hovick in Seattle.

...No one had ever heard the word "ecdysiast" until Gypsy Rose Lee taught it to ‘em. To the world at large, self-proclaimed ecdysiast Lee was a striptease artist -- indeed, the most celebrated of that sorority.

Lee's early life (fancifully recounted in her autobiography, which served as the source of the play and film Gypsy) consisted of touring the provinces in a vaudeville act managed by her mother. Her Mamma was the classic example of an obsessive stage mother.

She pushed Louise up on any stage. The star attractions of "Madame Rose's Dancing Daughters" were little Rose Louise Hovick and her younger sister June.

 

Strippers had to walk a fine line between titillation and propriety – going too far (let alone "all the way") could land them in jail for corrupting public morals. She took a  comically intellectual take on the craft. She gave stripping an artistic twist and graduated to sexy-hot stardom.

...Most people think that "burlesque" means female strippers walking a runway to a bump and grind beat. But that only fits the form in its declining years. At its best, burlesque was a rich source of music and comedy that kept America, audiences laughing from 1840 through the 1960s.

 

  I am a fan of the Burly-Q. Ya’ always hear me touting the Lucha Va Voom, or reminiscing about the golden days of Velvet Hammer (before the dames got too skinny and unimaginative). But at its core, burlesque articulate a common yearning to live in ease with our instincts and to reject pretension. It proclaims our individuality beautiful.

I love that it’s sexy, bold, brash, and unafraid to show some leg, while always maintaining subtle modesty. Burlesque isn't based on beauty that comes from a bottle or a scalpel. It celebrates a wide range of body types, personal expression, and a whole lotta’ flouncing flesh.

“If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing slowly . . . very slowly”
Gypsy Rose Lee: Ecdysiast

Great Book

"Los Angeles,  give me some of you! 

Los Angeles come to me the way I came to you, my feet over your streets, you pretty town I loved you so much, you sad flower in the sand, you pretty town."

--John Fante: Ask The Dust

"Chewbacca" arrested for head-butting in Hollywood

Read all about it here:
http://today.reuters.com/news/

"It's sooo FUNNY!"

...no it's not.

Gawkers actually clog up the major arteries in my neighborhood to take in these panhandlers. They want, or are fooled, to think these guys are legitimate street performers. Between the tourists and junkies, It is a menagerie of confusion for 10 blocks, 24 hours a day. 

If I need to travel between anywhere Beverly and Franklin, I have to avoid this area as though it were Calcutta. The crosswalks are clogged with misinformed out-of-towners.

Jimmy Kimmel thinks its novel to shoot his show above it.

What is Hollywood Boulevard? It’s an alternant reality in which Walt Disney chose not to develop milquetoast theme parks, but instead; He did a line of bad cocaine, walked into a white trash city ghetto, dressed up souvenir shops with flaky paint, and gave derelicts super-hero costumes to sleep and pee in.

Ahhh, my rant…. Triggered and released.

Vic's charter...

An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise.
~Victor Hugo

Kick-ass Poem

Jack + Judy

She was stuck on him like a three-cent stamp
on a postcard showing a roadside diner
shaped like a hat;
stuck like a stool on a chrome stem
waiting to swivel a customer,
or the naked thigh on a summer day
clinging to the vinyl seat.

He could read her like a two-bit cook
reads a scribbled order
jammed on a spike,
fluttering under the greasy fan;
like egg on a fork between the tines,
or a hot beef sandwich between the teeth.

Together, they're waiting on the night,
halfway between Peoria and Baton Rouge,
where the word OPEN, in red block letters,
hangs under the words, EAT HERE,
spelled out in perfect blue.

~ Doreen Fitzgerald, from Cake: Selected Poems

 

She was more than just Lily Munster…

She was a Femme Fatale that would entrance me in 1987 on AMC when I first saw Criss Cross. When honest armored car guard Burt Lancaster is caught compromised with his ex-wife (Yvonne de Carlo) by new hubby Dan Duryea, he delivered the line:
“I shoulda been a better friend. I shoulda stopped you. I shoulda grabbed you by the neck. I shoulda kicked your teeth in.”

I loved that scene.

Shes best known for her role as Milfy-matriarch Lily Munster in The Munsters. (Yeah, I said it, MILFY, whadda-ya-want? I’m Gothy…) I’m pretty sure I recall strange, compelling dreams I had at 7 or 8 years of age. Something where she was tucking me in and nuzzling up against my throat for a bite, I’m almost sure.

The Canadian -born actress had a tremendous career and was a red-hot siren many years before her most famous work on the sitcom.
She was a popular beauty queen throughout the 1940s (Miss Venice Beach in 1938) and she had dozens of mostly unaccredited roles before landing better, such as Princess Scheherazade, Salome, and the wife of Moses in Ten Commandments.

I know I’m a little late up to bat with this tribute, I thought it would just pass, but I keep finding random pics of her on my hardrive.

Goodnight sexy vamp.

I really feel this one, almost as much as when Klaus Kinski past away. …Or Falco. No, actually nothing hurts as much as Falco.